SET BOUNDARIES THAT MATTER
"Parents, don't be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 CEV
Opposites often attract, marry, and then have to deal with their differences--especially when their children become teens and they run up against boundary issues. Boundary disputes test their parents' capacity to negotiate differences in deciding what's right or wrong for their child. You let her do whatever she wants...You're driving him away with your strictness...She needs more discipline...He needs more space to be a kid. Both parents love their children and want only the best for them, but they disagree on how to accomplish it. In his book Boundaries with Teens, Dr. John Townsend gives some helpful and practical suggestions. (1) Agree that your teen comes first. Calmly, honestly, and selflessly discuss your differences together. The winner should always be your child! Agree, even compromise, on setting limits that protect your teen and promote his or her best interests. (2) Defer to one another's strengths. Each of you has areas you're better equipped to handle. For example, whichever one is better at organizing, listening objectively in heated moments, or calming a trouble teen should help the other one with these issues. (3) Don't triangulate your teen. It's easy to pull your child into conflict on your side. Typically the other parent then responds by pampering the child with gifts, privileges, and liberties in order to regain their approval. That strategy guarantees everybody loses! Agree to sort out your differences. And if you can't, seek the help of a wise friend, pastor, or counselor. Your child's life and future are what matter--not which one of you wins the popularity contest!
This message taken from: Daily Devotional - The Word For You Today
Opposites often attract, marry, and then have to deal with their differences--especially when their children become teens and they run up against boundary issues. Boundary disputes test their parents' capacity to negotiate differences in deciding what's right or wrong for their child. You let her do whatever she wants...You're driving him away with your strictness...She needs more discipline...He needs more space to be a kid. Both parents love their children and want only the best for them, but they disagree on how to accomplish it. In his book Boundaries with Teens, Dr. John Townsend gives some helpful and practical suggestions. (1) Agree that your teen comes first. Calmly, honestly, and selflessly discuss your differences together. The winner should always be your child! Agree, even compromise, on setting limits that protect your teen and promote his or her best interests. (2) Defer to one another's strengths. Each of you has areas you're better equipped to handle. For example, whichever one is better at organizing, listening objectively in heated moments, or calming a trouble teen should help the other one with these issues. (3) Don't triangulate your teen. It's easy to pull your child into conflict on your side. Typically the other parent then responds by pampering the child with gifts, privileges, and liberties in order to regain their approval. That strategy guarantees everybody loses! Agree to sort out your differences. And if you can't, seek the help of a wise friend, pastor, or counselor. Your child's life and future are what matter--not which one of you wins the popularity contest!
This message taken from: Daily Devotional - The Word For You Today
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