HOW TO MAKE ANGER WORK FOR YOU (1)

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”  James 1:19 NLT

You can use anger to actually deepen the bond and intimacy between you and your spouse.Here's how: (1) Acknowledge the place of anger. A person ruled by anger is not safe, healthy, or wise. "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls" (Pr 25:28 NKJV). But if you and your spouse can learn to rule anger instead of letting it rule you, it can be invaluable. Think of the emotion as a flare sent up by your brain telling you there's something you need to deal with. Find your own way to acknowledge your feelings. If you struggle to control your anger, take a walk and let the temperature decrease. Then come back, re-engage, and deal with the issue. (2) Don't run away. If you're truly in danger, you need to get somewhere safe. But if not, staying engaged with your spouse validates the feelings of both of you. It's the only way to get a solution. If either of you is angry, agree to deal with it. You may need to plan a time to do so, but don't wait long. If nothing else, determine to deal with it before going to sleep that night. You may not find a solution to the whole problem, but make a pact to defuse the situation before the day ends. "Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil" (Eph 4:26-27 NLT). If necessary, schedule a time to address the issue. You both deserve it, and your marriage is worth it.